Wednesday, October 30, 2013

In the Spirit of Halloween

It was four in the morning, and I awoke to a scratching noise. Was it scratching? I imagined that someone was knocking at my door. I opened my eyes, and I heard it again. I got out of bed, and walked over to the door. I hesitatingly opened it, and looked left and right, but no one was in the corridor. Then—AH! Someone grabbed my foot, like in a freaking horror movie!

I looked down, and one of the girls was one the floor. Her eyes were as big as golf balls, and she was moaning. My first instinct as a Catholic during the Halloween season was to call a priest to have her exorcised. But, as I became more awake, I kept calm and asked her where she hurt and what the matter was. I tried to give her ibprofin, but she wouldn’t take it.

I went to the housemistress, and when she came to my room the girl muttered about pain, and insisted on an ambulance. The housemistress called one, and I went outside to direct it. The medics came in, took her vitals, and asked her the same questions that I did. She went with them to the hospital. I stayed awake to inform the office of what had happened, and to see what had happened at the ER.

After the whole hullaballoo it was discovered that it was period pains. Super great way to start the day.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Age Polarity

There is a divide between the younger women and the older women who work in the office. We younger women are far more optimistic, living in our prime. The older women complain about everything, gossip about the girls at the school, and lose all sense of coherency when a male enters the office. We younger girls sometimes discuss how much better we are at handling drama, and how much less prone we are to gossiping about co-workers.

The other day, when we were discussing such things (notably how one of the older ladies in the office had a scandalous past before coming to the school) one of the day-girls at the school went outside the gates to talk to a boy. All of us sneakily crowded around a window to see the interaction, when the girl began to argue with the boy and cry. The housemistress next to me popped up and ran outside to make the girl come in the gates while the rest of us ducked down, faces still fogging up the window. It was at this time that the new IT guy came in to check if a printer was working, and we all leapt to our feet and started bantering like we had been uninterested all along…

The moral of the story is that we younger women are clearly superior. 

Friday, October 18, 2013

A Cream-Colored Jacket

I went out with my friend to a small pub last night, and we were both pretty tired and lethargic. I had been thinking about snow and skiing all day, so I ordered a coffee with Bailey’s in it (one of my favorite things), and my friend ordered a plain coffee.

The bartender came asked how it was, and I jokingly said, “Ah, I don’t know if you put enough Bailey’s in here.” He came back with a full glass of Bailey’s for me! My friend and I took no time in putting gracious amounts of it into our cups.

Eventually we finished it, and voila! We were tired and lethargic no more! I gave him a tip, and am now ready for winter. 

Monday, October 14, 2013

Boots with the Fur

One of the girls at the school is tiny and a little bit slow. She is perfectly lovely, and spends loads of time reading, but she likes to mosey and she has a bit of OCD. Because she is so sweet, despite many of the setbacks that she causes because of her tardiness, she is the favorite of many of the staff members. The other day, I was helping her pack and get ready for a canoeing trip, and I told her to tell me about it when she got back to school.

I have a pair of fur boots that I’ve been wearing since the weather decided to hate me. They have fur on the outside, and they are lined with sheepskin on the inside. They are like magic slippers. I had them propped on the chair in front of me when the girl came to tell me about canoeing.

At first she just looked at the shoes while she talked, and then she kept searching for more things to say. Finally, she relented, and she just started petting my shoes like you would pet a cat. She was so happy about it (maybe she was feeling pet-deprived), that I just let her pet my shoes until she was content.

Weird little thing. I think she’s one of my favorites now too. 


When my brother and I were in Italy, at my aunt’s 50th birthday party, we were served amazing food by the caterers. At one point, my brother and I plopped ourselves in front of a tray of cakes with some wine, and we bantered with whomever came to talk to us.

One man came up, and we discovered that he was over 60 years old, but he looked fantastic. Under his cashmere shirt a six-pack was clearly visible. When he turned to leave, I turned to Joseph and said, “How does he do it? He looks amazing!”

“Genetics,” Joseph said, popping two cakes into his mouth. “It’s all genetics.”

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Gnocchi Brain

My aunt in Fiesole, Italy had a 50th birthday party this last weekend, and because I live in England I hopped over there (okay, I rode coaches through the night, flew to Pisa, and then trained to Fiesole in a small matter of about half a day). My mom, grandfather, aunt, and brother also came over as a surprise. Although there was food, mirth, and an abundance of stories, the hilarious peculiarities of my grandfather on holiday stuck with me and made me chuckle on the long commute back to England.

At one particular time, after he ate gnocchi for three days straight, he was feeling the weight of jetlag. He took elevators whenever he had the opportunity, and he didn’t realize that some of them opened on both sides. So when it came to a stop, the doors opened behind him and he faced the ones that he had come through. After waiting awhile for the doors to open, he began muttering and repeatedly pushed the emergency button while the hotel lobby buzzed behind him. The hotel receptionist eventually came in and tapped him on the shoulder to ask what the problem was, which gave him quite a fright.

I love old people.